I just experienced something so profound I simply can not keep it to myself. Let me start with a beautiful image, taken with my own phone, sitting in my living room just moments ago.
Is this not the most gorgeous sunrise you have ever seen? Do you know how long it has been since I have watched the sunrise? My Father, O.L. Chastain, always talks about how beautiful the morning is. He has watched the sunrise from a deer stand too many times to count. He has sipped coffee with his crossword puzzle and watched a sunrise a million more. He is a brilliant man. A man I need to spend more time with. I need to get my priorities straight. But that's not why I am writing this morning.
I woke up about 4:30am, an hour later than usual. But instead of checking twitter and falling back to sleep, I got up for a bottle of water, settled into my rocking chair and flipped on the DVR. Dish recorded something without my permission; turns out it was a great HBO show called "The Newsroom" which I hadn't seen before. I watched it - and loved it. Working for a small midwestern television station isn't the same as working at CNN - I get that. But the adrenaline, the personalities, the devotion are all the same. News is a drug. So I feel like God set the stage for my day by allowing me to watch this show and think about my job.
I snuggled back into bed; on tv was talk about Boston. I decided to turn it off and closed my eyes. I said to myself "be still". Meditate. Relax.
We ALWAYS sleep with the curtains drawn. Sometimes they are closed for days. But yesterday, while cleaning, I pulled them open. We got home late from a wonderful evening with friends, and neither of us thought to close them. So as I am laying in bed, I see this beautiful sunrise. And I hear the birds chirping. Something I never hear because of the background noise of our tv. God again - setting the stage. Beautiful sunrise and an even more beautiful chorus.
And then He did this. This is what came to me as I "was still".
I saw my high school bedroom. I wallpapered my bedroom with magazine advertisements. I loved them. It was my dream to be a "copy writer", I am not sure I even knew exactly what that meant. But I wanted to write advertising - and I wanted to move to New York City. That was about 30 years ago. I can't believe that much time has gone by. When I was dreaming of being in advertising and moving to New York City, there was no internet, there were no cell phones. There was just a skinny girl in Missouri buying Cosmopolitan and Glamour at the local drugstore. But man I dreamed of the day....
I didn't go to college after high school. Instead I made a series of horrible choices, stupid mistakes and barely made it out alive. Somehow by the grace of God I also came out of the fog with three beautiful daughters who make me proud, who make me crazy, but most importantly they teach me the meaning of unconditional love and family. They are counted as three of my best friends. We rarely go a day or two without talking or texting or chatting - I do not take that for granted for one minute.
I did go to college in 2000. I majored in Public Relations where I learned a little bit about writing and met some really cool people like Peggy Robinson. (Now that I think about her, that's another blog I need to write)
I made a living working as an administrative assistant to many great people over the years, and I have done many interesting things. I have gone places and met people and seen things alot of people only dream about. But I never became a copywriter. I never moved to New York City.
For the past four years, I have worked as an Account Executive for KQTV in St. Joseph, MO. I love my job. I really like most of the people I work with. My daily job is to go out and sell advertising. And I do - I go out and meet people and talk to them about my station and my website. If I do it well enough, I then allow myself to go play "on the other side of the building" - the Newsroom. Which I love. It is so exciting to sit over there and here the police scanners and watch Bridget multi task like nobodies business. And now I get to go on air every Thursday and talk about movies and share this blog.
When I was "being still" this morning, listening to the birds, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I wasn't sure what God wanted me to know. So when the movie started playing in my head, I was so overwhelmed with emotion I started to cry. I looked at the clock - it read 5:55am. I thought to myself - never forget this moment. Your life has just been changed.
I haven't thought about my advertising wallpaper in years. It never occurred to me that God had lead me to a place where I could fulfill my dream. Last week, Diane Wampler gave me some advice about selling - she told me to stop selling my station and start selling ideas. So I tried that and it worked. I may not be a copywriter in New York City, but I am working in advertising for a television station that has been the source of news to northwest Missouri for 60 years. I am given the freedom to make my business whatever I want it to be. I have the opportunity to work with businesses and pitch them any advertising idea I can come up with. For some reason, I had never put it all together until this morning at 5:55am.
God answers prayers. Sometimes it just takes 30 years. And sometimes we need to shut off the tv, open the windows and be still so we can hear him.
As I wrap this up, I am watching a bunny play in the green grass and a robin is sitting on my windowsill. I couldn't get that in New York City. This is going to be a great day.
