Why do you love the person you love? My review of "Her", a love story by Spike Jonze

The first few times I saw this trailer, I thought it to be quite silly.  I knew this movie wouldn't be for everyone, maybe not even me.  I was very anxious for the screening, so when the day finally arrived I took my daughter Jen, one of the most open minded moviegoers I know.  I hoped she would help me see things in the movie I might have otherwise overlooked.  And that she did.

This movie isn't for everyone. You have to "get" technology and live an active online life or none of it will make sense.  You have to have an open mind when it comes to matters of the heart. You also have to be a dreamer.  Spike Jonze takes us on  a most amazing journey in "Her"

"Set in the Los Angeles of the slight future, “Her” follows Theodore Twombly, a complex, soulful man who makes his living writing touching, personal letters for other people. Heartbroken after the end of a long relationship, he becomes intrigued with a new, advanced operating system, which promises to be an intuitive entity in its own right, individual to each user. Upon initiating it, he is delighted to meet “Samantha,” a bright, female voice, who is insightful, sensitive and surprisingly funny.  As her needs and desires grow, in tandem with his own, their friendship deepens into an eventual love for each other.

From the unique perspective of Oscar-nominated filmmaker Spike Jonze comes an original love story that explores the evolving nature—and the risks—of intimacy in the modern world." ~ www.herthemovie.com

Joaquin Phoenix is such an amazing actor and he has always been one of my favorites.  He is an actor, not a celebrity.  There is a big difference.  He takes risks with his roles, and lives very much out of the spotlight.  I have to imagine this role really resonated with him.  He got it, and it shows.  

Scarlett Johansson; I wonder what made her decide to take this role?  She is definitely the lead actress, and was initially surrounded by quite a bit of Oscar buzz for this role.  But one thing disqualified her - I don't want to blast "spoiler alert", so I will leave it at that.  She was wonderful and sweet and kind and heartbreaking.

The slightly futuristic feel to the movie was amazing.  Tiny details, like the high waisted wool trousers all the men wore and the packaging of all the food.  The way Ted lived; the emptiness you felt in his beautiful apartment.  He lived such a lonely existence, yet was always busy making other people's lives feel more relevant.  It was a very interesting concept, breathtakingly beautiful at times, but most certainly very sad.

There is a panic in the movie, the moment Ted loses Samantha.  While he is searching, my heart was racing right along with his.  It was terrifying, and made us all face the reality of this relationship.  In the blink of an eye it could all be over, and we would have no idea where to look.  That is true of all online relationships, even those we are in today.  But it is also true of real relationships.  Having ended a ten year relationship recently, not by my choosing, I understand the panic and grief that he must have felt.  It really, really takes your breath away and takes over your entire world.  It is a very, very difficult thing to navigate through.

This movie did make me think about the amount of time I spend with my own technology.  It made me want to be present when with family and friends.  To read more.  To watch more.  To explore more.  We all as a society need to pay attention to our lives, or this world Ted lives in most certainly could become a reality.

That being said, the idea of a kindred spirit, someone in my life who wants nothing more than to listen to me and ask me questions about my life and make me feel important, that is a very enticing proposition.  The best line of the movie:  

"You always wanted to have a wife without the challenges of actually dealing with anything real.  I'm glad you found someone."  Exactly.